Let me first start by saying that prayer is something I’ve never truly gained a testimony of. I have struggled to implement it into my day to day life, and it still isn’t always my go to when I’m feeling overwhelmed. But these past few weeks (especially days) I’ve really strived to focus on prayer and my relationship with Heavenly Father. Openly communicating my thoughts and concerns has really helped me feel His love and comfort.
That being said, as my departure date for China approaches (February 17th, bright and early in the morning, yay), I’m still struggling to plan afterwards. I’ve mentioned this before, but the options out there can be so overwhelming! I know I’m looking at this from the wrong angle. I need to be appreciative and grateful for the opportunities I have.
I’ve also finally taken the ACT and gotten my results back! Let me apologize in advance for this everywhere post. I’ve got so many things I’m considering, but it’s hard to actually make a decision. My ACT was pretty average. At first I didn’t really want to say what it was on here, but I need to proud of how I did, and just realize that I can only get better with more time and study. I got a 25, which, combined with my higher GPA, puts me in a good position for most state schools.
I may take it again, as I have a very slim chance of getting into BYU with a 25, but I’m not sure yet. I’m one of those people who likes planning ahead and knowing NOW what the future holds and what to expect. I can’t help reminding myself though that after China my mindset and understanding of different may change COMPLETELY, altering my academic desires/interests, and school preferences.
At this stage, I have a fair amount of interests, but nothing solid that I am positive is leading towards a career. I’d like to explore lots of different avenues and see what really excites and motivates me.
I’m also trying to remember that as long as I am doing all in my power to have the Holy Ghost with me, Heavenly Father will guide me and I don’t need to stress. Just because I don’t get the answers I want when I want doesn’t mean they won’t come. God has his own timetable and understanding of my future that I am unable to comprehend. I need to respect that, and respect Him by obeying his commandments and following the promptings of the Spirt.
A mission is also something that has been on my mind these past for months. It’s something I have always wanted and planned on doing. At this point it’s a question of when. I want to go now… After China, that is. And I’ve been praying and fasting to understand if that is what Heavenly Father has in store for me. I haven’t felt a huge confirmation that this year is the time, but I havenlt felt a definitive no either. I think I will pursue this and start the mission application process. If I begin to doubt or feel that it isn’t the right time, then I will obey those promptings. But again, I need to tone it down and not stress. For now, my focus should be on enjoying the time that I have with my family and embracing the fact that IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! The big 19!
Finally, I’d like to complete this brain dump (as my mom likes to call them) by saying thank you! Thank you all for the comments and messages of advice and support. This is a crazy and exciting period of my life and I am so grateful for the knowledge I’ve gained from all of your personal life experiences! Have a great day, all 🙂
P.s. Thought I’d add the weather averages for Changzhou, China for any who are curious! Was thinking it would be hotter, but am still pleasantly surprised. Almost anything can beat winters in Alaska!